Out of Religion, Into Relationship: Part 2

By Dorothy Mitchell

Continuing the story of my journey into an experiential relationship with God.

The Turning Point. My existential distress during my college years came to a head in an unexpected way. I can’t even explain why what happened hit me so hard. At the time, I was living in a dorm for women in the center of campus that had an unofficial reputation for being the virgin dorm.

One day, I was studying in my room when a girl raced down the hall pursued by a pack of boys, who cornered her just outside my door while one of the boys pressured the girl for a date. (Ironically, the boy was in the same religion class that pushed me to familiarize myself with the branches of Christianity I had not been exposed to before, which for me were Pentecostal and Charismatic churches.) Alarmed, I propped my door open in an attempt to give the girl an escape. She did not take it, but succumbed to the pressure and gave the boy her number.

I am not usually an impulsive person, but on this occasion I was so angry I was ready to run out and do something rash. However, the girl did not want anyone to retaliate on her behalf. I filed a report, honoring her choice, but inwardly I wrestled with my anger and my impotence, pursuing justice solely on paper. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I cried out to God that my ways were not working; I had tried everything in my own strength and had failed to change myself one iota. I had no resilience. I could not cope with my moody, whiplash emotions or the pressures I put on myself. I needed God to change my life and my heart so I could live in the way Jesus had promised.

I did not receive any answer at that time, but soon after, my mom was introduced to the process of HeartSync, and I sensed this might be the tool that I needed in order to change. I was also introduced to Silicon Valley Healing Rooms, where I felt the undeniable presence of God for the first time and began to learn how to listen and hear from God by seeking words of knowledge before praying for physical healing. In the years since, other gifts and modes of communication unlocked: tongues, discernment, and dancing. More importantly, my inner stability and foundation in Christ has become more and more firm.

I have continued to seek God, listen for his voice, receive ministry for the shattered and broken pieces of my heart, and renounce the vows of religion and stoicism that captured me. It has been my pleasure to engage with and learn from teachers, evangelists, healers, and prophets from a great many ministries. It is my honor and joy now to help others restore the lines of communication in a living relationship with our Living God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit in their many roles as Father, Friend, Shepherd, Banner, Defender, King, Teacher, and Creator.

There is hope for you, too. Check out our appointment options for connecting you to the Source of Hope here.

Out of Religion, Into Relationship: Part 1

By Dorothy Mitchell

This is the story of my journey to wholehearted healing and connection.

The Setup. I grew up in a very small evangelical church with liberal leanings relative to the rest of the Church of Christ denomination. They embraced women as capable leaders, deacons, teachers, and servants within the church partly out of necessity because of their small population, but also out of general Bible study and local professional attitudes. The church denominational theology was organized around the cessationist premise that the gifts of the Holy Spirit ceased after the time of the first apostles. My congregation neither endorsed nor repudiated that belief directly, and I had no experience or knowledge that would cause me to question that premise or its effects.

Dorothy drinking from the old church fountain

Although the church hesitantly leaned in the direction of the Holy Spirit more and more as the years went on, the endeavor was of the cautious-blind leading the cautious-blind. We didn’t know that agreements in the spirit stick around until they are explicitly refuted or put down. We had very little grid for God’s heavenly kingdom and great fear of passion, mysticism, and the unknown.

Deep in my heart, I knew the spiritual world was real. I knew some people heard God and had a personal relationship with Jesus. Yet I could not seem to grasp it for myself. I grew increasingly disenchanted and frustrated with the evangelical world’s flat take on a seemingly one-sided relationship with a Jesus who could not talk back. Though I agreed in theory that such a relationship was crucial to my Christian walk, I could not make mine come alive, and no one seemed equipped to teach me how to make it bi-directional and real. Prayer felt very close to useless. But Holy Spirit had plans to guide me deeper.

The Commitment. I had always known I wanted to be baptized someday, but I felt I could not make the commitment in good conscience until I felt that I was willing to give my whole life to follow Jesus. One night I had a dream that I knew came from the Holy Spirit. I saw a white and purple flag featuring the dove of the Holy Spirit waving in my dream. In the dream, I was teaching some children about Jesus, who stood behind them. The children confronted me and asked me how I could teach them about him if I had not committed and was not baptized myself?

When I woke up, I knew it was time.

I felt nothing in particular during the baptism event, but Holy Spirit began to show me things. One time he even downloaded an entire parable to me. While I was applying to college, I would idly ask God where I would be in the future and I would receive faint glimpses in the blink of an eye. Later in the year, I recognized myself in those places he showed me. This brought me reassurance about my purpose and my destiny. I did not want to assume I knew where God wanted to send me. Eventually, I settled on Hope College in Michigan where I could pursue creative writing, art, and Japanese in an environment that encouraged its students to grow in their Christian walk.

Finally, finally, I would be allowed to nourish my passions with people who also wanted to be in school, with people as motivated as myself! I fully expected to flourish, but instead I attained accolades and success without thriving. I was frequently too anxious to enjoy my freedom. I made many acquaintances but struggled to make strong friendships, which came lowest on my priority scale. I felt chronically battered and exhausted. I realized I had absorbed toxic expectations and habits from twelve years of school that I did not know how to unlearn. I continued to do my work and enjoyed my classes, but outside of class I felt something was dreadfully wrong. I did not know how to live as a whole human being.

Have you also experienced such an existential crisis? Stay tuned for the conclusion of this story of hope.