My Big Break: Surrender

By Susan Mitchell

God looks for every opportunity to break you out of stuckness. We can do a lot of things — therapy, prayer, journaling, talking with a friend — to give God that opportunity, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like much has shifted. If we keep chipping away at it, those small steps will pay off one day when the simplest thing breaks it all open. 

Control. Sometimes we get stuck because we are actually trying too hard without knowing how to unclench, attempting to wrest control over ourselves or our situation. That’s how it was for me, an irritable, self-described control freak.

My heart had already been softened and lightened through a few sozo sessions, in which I was led back to sad memories, saw God in the memories, and got his perspective on the situation. Although I felt more peace about that particular situation, my life in general wasn’t affected. Then a sequence of events built up to my culminating moment: (1) I received my first HeartSync as a demo in front of a “live studio audience.” Amazingly, I was able to release a lot of pain that I had been carrying and began climbing out of a negative mindset of painful irritability, reaching a more neutral zone. (2) I was blessed with a hopeful prophetic word from a friend. (3) I attended a conference of artists learning about human trafficking. I was relaxed, not expecting anything.

Surrender. At the end of the conference, we were invited forward to get a prayer to release us from a pattern of abuse. I seized the moment, and my life changed suddenly and permanently through the minister’s 2-minute prayer:

“Lord, I invite you to tear down the 'abuse me' sign over Susan, so that every word out of her mouth going forward is good and pure and wholesome, and every word directed toward her is truthful, clear, and loving. Sever the ungodly soul ties between her and all abusers, and retrieve all parts of her soul, washed clean in the blood of Jesus. Send back to her abusers all parts of their souls, washed clean in the blood of Jesus.” 

I am normally a pretty stoic person, but as she was speaking, I felt my spirit grieve, and my body reflected that grief with shuddering, crying, and deep exhalation. I could have shut it down, but I went with it — the first surrender. While the minister left me to continue the process on my own, I felt an invitation in my spirit to release and surrender more. Maybe that’s overstating it. It’s actually rather boring to just stand there crying. With my get ‘er done mentality, I decided to cooperate by going through a standard process I'd been taught since childhood: Hear, Believe, Repent, Confess, and Be Baptized.

So I heard the minister express the Lord’s desire to heal me. I believed my spirit wanted to receive his healing, as evidenced by the turmoil in my body. I verbally repented (did a U-turn) by ceding my control to heaven and declaring that I was surrendering each part of my body. I worked my way down from head to toe, pausing between each part to see if I the Holy Spirit wanted me to do anything else before moving on. I confessed all sins I could think of that I had committed related to that part of my body. I forgave people related to those sins and let go of the resulting bitterness I had held. I asked Jesus to sever all attachments to all spirits that were chaining me to sinful behavior patterns (spirits of anger, control, vengeance, grief, etc.). Over the course of about 20 minutes, I slowly yielded each body part (head/brain, eyes, ears, mouth, shoulders, abdomen, hips, knees, feet) and ended up face down and flat on the floor, until I felt the baptism of the Holy Spirit, which was the peace that comes from having nothing left to surrender. This is what it means to be washed clean in the blood of Jesus. 

That was the watershed moment jumping me past zero and into positive numbers. My family noticed positive effects immediately even though I don’t think I was behaving any differently or striving to be a better person. But the reality confirmed by many people’s external observations is that I have not been the same person since that moment, and abusive verbalizations toward me ceased. 

Love. That’s my personal story. Your story may be very different. But the common thread is that God loves you and longs for you to truly experience the “abundant life” that Jesus promised. Don’t wallow in the negative zone of pain. Don’t be satisfied with the neutral zone of meh. Go for it, and work out your “sozo,” your very own salvation path into the positively charged life you were designed for.